Friday, December 18, 2015

Two years olds are special

Can I get an amen?

If you are lucky, you will be blessed with one that is extra special.

Don't be jealous.

Allow me to enlighten you to the elite specialness of the Banjo-man.

First of all: He's a "pants optional" dude. I mean, perhaps you have seen him on my counter before?

But lately I feel he is enjoying the free lifestyle a bit too much.

No pants.

No pants.
No pants.

I'm sure he has no pants here either.

Ask me how I know.

It wasn't very long before this picture was taken that he announced that he had pooped behind my couch. This kid should teach a seminar to toddlers regarding "poo fear."

He has overcome.

And I guess since he is often pants-less, it wasn't much of a stretch to just strip down and take a soak.

Seriously. What the heck? He was supposed to be washing his hands.

I'm really not sure what is going on here.

He's just his own person.

He likes to wear a comb in his hair sometimes.

I mean, I guess life has its challenges with sisters. He does get dressed up like a princess occasionally.

But honey badger don't care. He just hikes up his dress and scales the fence like a man.

He is going to be three next month.

I'm sure everything will change then.


Friday, November 27, 2015


I was talking to a friend the other day and casually mentioned, "You know how you go to the bank to get lollipops for your kids?"

And she was like, "Huh?"

ME: "Uh, yeah. Isn't that a thing? Don't you go to the bank and get a lollipop for your kids?"

FRIEND: "Well, if I go to the bank to make a transaction and I have my kids with me and the teller at the counter offers me a lollipop for them then, yeah... I guess I would get one."

ME: But I mean, do you ever like go to the bank to get lollipops for your kids?

FRIEND: Um. No. ???  Like...You take your 5 kids into the bank just to get lollipops?

ME: Oh no. I don't go in...I go to the drive through teller.

FRIEND: Well, that's nice that they still offer you a lollipop for your kids after you finish your transaction.

ME: Well, I don't always make a transaction. Except for the transaction of getting lollipops for my kids. Irene knows me. She gives me extra lollipops. She likes me. She understands.


ME: So wait. Is this not a thing?

FRIEND: No. That is not a thing. That is just weird.


Wednesday, November 25, 2015


My Instagram feed has seemed unusually full of cute fall ensembles and fashion highlights. If you know me at all, you know that I struggle greatly in the area of fashion and so most of this advice and cuteness is wasted on me.

Lately, I have seen a lot less of the super tiny models wearing the latest trend, but rather a neatly laid outfit "sans human" with accessories tastefully placed alongside.
Here's a recent picture from my feed from @allinspiredboutique a super adorable shop near me that has all kinds of cuteness I can't afford. 

Embittered Inspired by the onslaught of flaccid little ensembles filling up my feed, I thought I would bring to you my personal #OOTD Instagram style.

Well, first, let me get it from the closet.


Ok, here we are! It's the newest trend for the season: #WrinkledAndDirty

I love sporting my soft and comfy gray #OldNavyMaternity Henley on cold days like today! #cozy. Who doesn't enjoy the ease and comfort of figure-flattering, pre-natal wear #mybabyis1yearold #slimming. I paired this with my fav jeans that I peeled off my body like a banana the night before. #InsideOutIsTheNewIn

I realized I failed to include my accessories for the day! #SillyMe. My must have essential - the green gumdrop paci to tuck between the ladies for easy access. And of course I include my daughter's ankle socks  - it feels so cool to be able to wear my 8 year old's clothes! #ForeverYoung Don't forget the toilet paper squares to tuck in a side pocket for quick and efficient snot wiping. And what ensemble would be complete without the coffee mug?! #IHeartCoffee

#FashionNeverSleeps #SoxyAndIKnowIt #PaciChic #CarpoolGlam

Special shout out to my stylists. #YouGetMe


Monday, November 23, 2015

White flag

Dinner time at our house is just weird.

Mr. Jenkins standing on the windowsill.

Juicy girl screeching.

Banjo using the tongs like chop sticks... whilst wearing no pants.

Because apparently, we live in a pants optional household.

I guess that by dinner time, I am just waving the white flag. I have not the mental or emotional resources left to require even the most basic manners or common civility.

Honestly, the flag is waving long before dinner - many days before my feet hit the floor in the morning. And I know that despite my "ability" to muddle through the day - I don't have any true ability apart from Christ. Raising little people brings the truth of my inadequacy all too clearly into view.

Humbling these little people are.


Sunday, November 22, 2015

Potty Training

I am wondering if I have ever posted on this subject before.

It is entirely possible that I have because I loathe the endeavor with such passion. And it is here that I often occasionally come to air my grievances.

Banjo appeared to be ready for the potty training and with dreams of less poopy diaper changes enticing me, I decided to try.

Potty Training. Not for the faint of heart.

Or for those who enjoy the simple things in life.

Like doing anything else. At. All.

I hear there are those of you out there who potty train "in 3 days" or some other such insanity. But I'll have you know - that's not how we do it around here. Nay. We prefer to take anywhere from 3 weeks to a year to achieve mastery of the art of elimination.  And even once we have grasped the concept - we enjoy an occasional regression.

Some times regression happens in the privacy of our home. Like in my garage when the child has climbed upon the mini van and pooped on the sun roof and then slid down the windshield of the car in his poopy underwear.

As awesome as that can be, it is always extra special when they "regress" in a public setting. Like at the nursery at church.

Yes, my boy shut down the piglets classroom a few weeks back. All piglets were relocated to the cows classroom thanks to a sizable download that apparently could not be contained by his "big boy underwear." Granted, Brent had dressed him for church that morning and it turned out he was in fact wearing "big girl underwear" - which may have contributed to the problem. Brent's excuse when asked why Banjo was wearing Sassy's underwear?: They were in his closet.


Honestly, some days he is a total potty rock star. And he is a self proclaimed, "potty beast" - just ask him. But some days I miss diapers. At least there was more containment.

Monday, March 23, 2015


I would like to blog more.

But there are these devious sweet little people in my life that keep me on my toes constantly. 

Most recently this one has been the usual suspect when it has come to destruction, mayhem and general naughtiness. 

So stinkin' cute.
So stinkin' naughty.

Earlier this week, I was on the phone trying to make arrangements for a speech therapy evaluation for the little guy. It's my fault - I've fostered his paci addiction in an attempt to keep my sanity. Consequently, I guess I've stunted him because he mostly talks around that paci and doesn't correctly articulate the beginning or end of words. 

Anyway, our baby monitor is one of those wifi devices that I can view through a password protected app on my phone. So, when I finished my very brief phone call, I switched back to the monitor view only to see this.

Yes, that little glowing eyed creature is Banjo. And yes, he's in Juicy's crib. 

With Juicy. 

Who was sleeping. 

But was then no longer. 

I mean. Is nothing sacred?!


Friday, March 20, 2015

'Fess up Friday

Be sure to check out Kira's blog for some hilarious 'Fess Up Fridays - one of my personal favorites: Dental Hygiene 

And for this week's addition, I bring you the following confessions:

I washed my child's shoes in the dishwasher. Like with my dishes.

Who does this?

Me apparently. 

If I'm honest, it did feel wrong. And I confess, I had a momentary internal debate about taking them upstairs to the laundry, but determined - that was just too much effort. I ultimately justified the decision with the the reality that the reason they were being washed in the first place was because the child who owns them was found wiping his tootsie pop all over them and then licking the tootsie juice off of them. 

Super sanitary. 

Good thing the Curls live by the creed - God made dirt and dirt don't hurt!


Speaking of shoes. I went out to the van last night to recover someone's pair of shoes and retuned with the following:

Seriously? There is only one pair of shoes in that assortment. Are my children just walking around with one shoe on? Are they purposely bringing in one and leaving one in the car just to make me crazy? Is my van attempting to "one up" the laundry in it's quest to mysteriously absorb shoes as the dryer does with socks? 

I really don't get it.


Juicy graduated. It was time. She outgrew her moses basket in our armoire. 

Yes, we sleep our babies in our armoire. It's not like we close the doors or anything, so don't judge. 

Here's her cute little bed. Just look at that precious owl bedding courtesy of Grammy.

Too bad she only graduated to my closet. 

Once again. Don't judge.

Sadly, it will probably the only good sleep she's going to get in her life since her next placement will land her with some combination of these jokers.

And let me tell you... they are not quiet.