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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Gun totin'

Oh, I am such a bad blogger lately.

So inconsistent.

In my defense, I have been busy.

We were away all weekend and then on Monday we had Sassy's 4th birthday party.

It takes me a while to recover from such shenanigans.

Plus, I am not much of a birthday party person.

I blame my mother.

She is a self-professed children's-birthday-party-hater.

My most memorable birthday party as a child was at a McDonald's.

I'm pretty sure she found out that they had a "party package" and signed me up so that she didn't have to plan and facilitate the party.

She left that in the able hands of McDonald's minimum-wage employees.

I am quite sure they don't do parties at McDonald's this way any more, but "back in the day," a kid's party consisted of taking a behind the scenes tour of Mickey D's (something that would probably make me barf today). We got to see how they made all the typical fast food fare... ice cream cones, cheeseburgers, etc... and when they finished showing us the completed product they would give the food item to one of the lucky party-goers.

Yum.
I think I just McVommited in my mouth a little bit.

Anyway, as I mentioned... mom was not a big fan of kids parties... I think the self-entitled nature of birthdays coupled with self-absorbed children just sent her over the edge. So, even though it was my birthday, my mom made sure that I let all the other kids get something from the kitchen tour first... because they were "my guests" and we always let our guests go first.

So, I politely stood back letting my friends get the french fries, the chicken nuggets, and of course the coveted milk shake.


Finally, we arrived at the last station on the tour... I could hardly wait for my fast food "delight".

At long last, they showed us how they made...

Wait for it...

The McFishwich.

No joke.

I got the McFishwich.

Happy Birthday to me.

I have probably made my mom feel terrible by telling this story, so please let me assure you that I did not have a deprived childhood in any way. In fact, I certainly received more than I ever deserved from my parents.

In fact, I still do.

Please forgive me mom! I love you and promise I am not scarred... at least not too much.

Anyway, back to Sassy's party!

I sorta inherited the party planning hatred from my mom, so the whole thing felt a bit overwhelming even though it was just a glorified play date with cupcakes, but I think it went well.

Plus, there were no McFishwiches.

My delightful friend 'licious took some pictures so I'll post those later.

I say this like I am a postin' fool who updates this blog every day or so...

We know this not to be true.

Anyway, I have already rambled too long to get to some of the stuff I actually intended to post about, but I will leave you with this...

As I mentioned, we were away this weekend. A portion of our time was spent at a fundraiser that included a clay pigeon shooting tournament.

I did not shoot any pigeons... clay or otherwise.

However, my husband and his buddies did.

Clay pigeons that is.

Anyway, it was a very manly place so I was quite surprised to stumble upon a row of jogging strollers in the main facility.


I was excited because I had Chilli with me and was thrilled with the prospect of putting her in one and strolling around a bit near the lodge.

But when I pulled it out, I saw that the stroller had been hijacked!

Seriously... do you see this?! Some man took it and turned it into a GUN stroller!!

It is a rolling gun rack!!

Ridiculous.

Maranda

Thursday, August 25, 2011

God's got huge ears

Some Funny Observations from this week:

Sassy: Mommy, can God hear us when we are talking in the car?
Me: Yes he can. God is everywhere.
Sassy: Wow. God must have really huuuuuuge ears.

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Look! We're at the beach again


Actually the kids were just playing in the long jump sand pit at the church.

I'm sure the school/church appreciates that.



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My son is a crazy man.

After hiding my cell phone today, he proceeded to apply his sister's play/dress-up makeup to his face...

...and our new couch.

Awesome.

Whilst I was cleaning up the couch he got into a box of bubble gum.

He was chewing no less than 4 pieces when I discovered him.

As I tried to coax him to me in hopes of getting him to spit out the massive wad of gum, he compliantly placed the nearly empty box back in the drawer while drooling profusely from the mouth and saying, "sothy muh-muh" (translation - Sorry Mama).

In case you are wondering, he did not relinquish the gum in his mouth.

He swallowed it.

Yay.

It was only a few hours later when I found him with the window grid from our guest room window. Clearly he is feeling no ill effects from having swallowed a wad of bubble gum.


Seriously though... if you think of it... will you pray? I remember being told as a child how horrible it is to swallow gum... I mean, I kinda feel like it was a gross exaggeration to keep my from you know... swallowing my gum...but I am sure it isn't a healthy thing to digest (hopefully) that much.

*sigh*

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I asked my kids if they wanted to go and get bagels for breakfast (thanks a lot Mrs. Bone... you have me addicted to that bagel place just as you predicted... I hope you're happy).

Unfortunately, it became clear to me that my children thought bagels were donuts.

So, instead of correcting them...

I took them to the donut shop.

Once again, thanks a lot Mrs. Bone, as you are responsible for the donut shop introduction as well. 

Here they are...sucking all the chocolate off...


And picking a nose.

That's my boy.

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We have a busy weekend, so I may link this up as my 'Fess up Friday... especially now that I see it is a mere 3 minutes until Friday.

Wow... early for the 'Fess up... now that's a first!

Check out Kira's Blog for other 'Fess Ups! - mc

Maranda




Friday, August 19, 2011

'Fess up Friday

It's that time again...


I'm exhausted tonight, so quite honestly its a miracle that I am posting on actual 'Fess Up Friday...

After all, you know my tendency toward Procrastination Saturday, or as 'licious suggested, Slacker Saturday!

Anywho... Here are a few tidbits from the week that you might or might not find entertaining.

As I've mentioned previously, it's been hot in these parts. I know, I know, we had that cold front that brought the temps down into the high eighties... but despite this Arctic blast, it was in fact hot and humid today and so the kids and I headed to the fountain park to stay cool.

Of course on the way, we make the requisite stop for beverage to sustain us in the blazing heat.

Sonic!
Holla!

I got my tea and a small tot for the kids to share. They tore through them pretty fast and I was a bit annoyed that they were begging for more and we weren't very far down the road. When I arrived at the park, I discovered this.


Apparently, Mr. Jenkins spilled a majority of the tots into Chilli's lap.

Poor baby... she puts up with a lot from her sibs.

But she was clearly not disturbed and slept soundly through the incident.


Love dem chunky legs!

Once we got to the fountains, we met up with 'licious and her kids. The kids had a great time stealing the toys of other children whose mothers actually brought things for them to play with splashing, running, and giggling in the spray.

The boys got a little tuckered out and had to take a break.

Look at the little Sonic lovers.

No worries, today it was just sonic ice and water.

Mr. Jenkins may or may not have had a few sips from the dregs of my tea.

I can neither confirm nor deny this.

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I caught my kids watching Curious George like this one day this week.

They were so dang cute, I didn't even get on to them for lying on the coffee table.

Don't judge.

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The outfit of the week goes to Mr. Jenkins this week.
Well, technically, he is lacking the "outfit" part of this phrase, but the chocolaty face and boots won him the prize for "best dressed". Please also note orange, admission arm band from the splash park we went to a few weeks ago. He finally let me take that sucker off yesterday!

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Well, that's about all I've got for this week. I hope you guys have a good weekend! Make sure to check out Kira's blog to read some other confessions that are certainly more witty (and inspiring in Kira's case) this week.

Maranda

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

One of the many perks...

Have I told you that my hubby is awesome?

Well, he is.

He has also got some mad skillz.

Seriously. The man just brought endless hours of delight to my kids by building the following in our back yard!

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Have I told you that he builds ropes courses as a part of his job?

He's that cool.

There are lots of incredible things about Brent, but when he finished this project tonight, I was once again reminded of what a great dad he is. It was awesome watching him put the kids in the swing for rides and seeing them squeal in excitement.

In case you are wondering, Jenkie enjoyed swinging too... even if he had to ride in the pink seat.



Not that he really has a problem with pink stuff. As we have discussed previously, he is man enough to rock some pink.

Just wanted to brag on the hubs.

I love that man.

Maranda

Monday, August 15, 2011

Costco, my personal black hole

I went to Costco today.

Did you know that it is like a totally different store when you don't have kids with you?

People! There are these isles in Costco that have toys and games and books and movies and music and play sets. Were you aware of this?

I have never been down these isles before.

Well, that's not true. I am sure I went down those isles before I had children... but it's been years.

Years, I tell you.

Sometimes shopping with my kids feels like the equivalent to having to go shopping with three young goats. And you know shopping with goats at Costco poses a very unique challenge.

Can I get an amen?

Anywho, I just wanted to let you know that should you ever get the opportunity to go to Costco without your children, you really should do it. Here are a few of the perks:

1. You get to eat all the free samples in stead of giving them to your kids.
2. You can hold a thought in your brain.
3. You can roam the "forbidden" isles and complete birthday gift shopping in a jiffy!
4. You have room in your cart for the products because there are not three goats children in, on or dragging behind your cart.
5. You are not worrying about when the ticking time bomb (ie. your nap-needy child) is going to blow. I always feel extremely anxious when back in the paper product section of the store because it is a good 1.5 miles from the checkout registers.
Mr. Jenkins is prone to freaking out in the toilet paper section.
I know the long walk of shame back to the front of the store.
I tell you, it is no fun.
6. You don't miss out on little gems like this:

Yes, that's right people. It's an electronic toilet seat.

WHAT THE HECK!?

It comes with a remote.

I am so baffled.

I really can't figure out what needs to be electronic about a toilet seat?

Is there an automated function that I have been lacking in my life this far?

Oh. My. Word.

I just looked it up on line.

Ridiculous.

Well, for those of you who needed a little "pulsating wash" and blow dry for your hiney, you can purchase the IntelliSeat at Costco for the discounted price of $199.

But you might have to buy a two pack.

Maranda





Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Free Food

Holla people!!



Guess who won the weekly mega deals drawing at Sonic?!

Meeeeeeeeee!

I am the proud winner of a $25 Sonic gift card. That should last me at least a month... a week... a couple of days!

Brent was home from work today and we had a blast as a family. His mom, sister and grandparents came over for a visit and the kids were thrilled to see them... and not just because they came bearing gifts, which they did.

Seriously, you have never met a more generous bunch of people than my hub's family. They are so sweet and giving and loving.

I honestly have the best inlaws ever.

After nap time we played at a local park (fortunately it was a spray/water park because it is still dang hot in these parts).

After the park, Brent and I made the bold decision to conduct a mystery shop...

...with the kids.

What is a mystery shop you ask?

Let me share.


A mystery shop is when you sign up through consumer market research company to dine at a specific restaurant and conduct a post visit survey about your experience. If you comply to all their rules regarding the shop and complete your survey in the allotted time frame, they reimburse you up to a certain amount for your meal.

Sounds easy right?

Well, it actually is pretty easy...

But it is also a pain.

And it is not recommended to conduct these with kids, because you have to take note of a lot of details and kids are not conducive to detail noting.

In fact, they are quite distracting.

We usually conduct mystery shops when we are desperate to eat out and have no money left in our eat out/Dave Ramsey budget.

Tonight was such a night.

Also, I didn't feel like cooking it was a Tuesday.

Anywho... we muddled through the mystery shop and I took notes of the all the staff's personal details... name, height, age, gender, hair length, eye color, blood type, social security number, etc...

But wouldn't you know it...

All three of my kids pooped!!

I had to change two diapers and give an assist to the potty trained one...

All while trying to notice if "the dining room was tidy and free of any debris" and if "the manager was actively engaged with customers and the general running of the restaurant".

On a positive note, there is a section on the survey regarding the bathroom cleanliness and I totally had that section covered.

Granted, we probably downgraded their "fresh smelling" rating due to the poop.

Oh well... When you gotta go, you gotta go.

I apologize... I have gotten rather crude with this post. I hope I haven't offended anyone!


Anyway, I'm apparently all about the free food this week.

I did mention that I am the weekly Sonic gift card winner, did I not!?

Holla people! Holla.

Maranda







Monday, August 8, 2011

Hot... and in need of rest

Did you know that it is hotter than a goats hiney in a pepper patch down here in Georgia.

Seriously, we are sweating it out.

I am envious of all my "just pretendz bloggy friends" who live in places like Ruralville or up in Northern Idaho. I get the sense that Summer may have just arrived for you.

And when I say Summer, I do not mean, 80 degree weather.

God Bless you sweet people, but 80 degrees is not Summer.

The hubs had a mandatory work function at the church last night, so in an attempt to cool the kids off, I took them to a local park with fountains. It was an amazingly good outing considering I was so outnumbered. Sassy was in true form... singing, dancing, playing in the fountains, and her little shadow was imitating her every move.

Chilli fell asleep in the carrier.
I love that kid.

Sassy was putting on some type of musical production.
video

She was totally in her own world.

Once again, I love that she is oblivious to the fact that she marches to a beat of a different drummer. I hope that her spirit isn't ever squelched.

At one point, she decided to lie down on the ground.

Of couse Jenkins joined her.


But it was funny because the rest of the kids were running around all over the place and she and her brother were just lying down... it was almost like I was watching special effects in a movie, where the main characters are fixed and still while the world buzzes around them in a frenzy.

I have often commented that this stage of my life does not seem to provide a lot of opportunity for reflection. That's not to say that there aren't plenty of things to reflect on... it's just that in between feeding the family, dressing children, changing diapers, cleaning up endless messes, doing laundry, and, and, and... I confess that most of the time, I'm too exhausted to reflect.

However, as I watched my kids lie down in the midst of chaos yesterday, I did have a small reflective moment.

How awesome that in the middle of all that insanity, they were able to block out the noise and be still.

Granted, they were probably just pretending to "take a nap" but for me it was the visual image that caught my attention.

I am desperate for some stillness in my life.

Even though it is crazy and I know there is so much to do, I know I need to be still more often than I am.

Like, not just when I am asleep!

My quiet times have been short, rushed and infrequent. I hope I can be still enough this week to lie down in the middle of all the madness and enjoy some time with the Jesus.

I pray I might rest in the Secret of his Presence as Sandra McCracken sings about in this song.

In the Secret of His Presence (click to hear the song).
In the secret of His presence
How my soul delights to hide!
Oh, how precious are the lessons
Which I learn at Jesus’ side!
Earthly cares forever vex me,
all my trials lay me low;
But when Satan comes to tempt me,
To the secret place I go.


When my soul is faint and thirsty,
‘Neath the shadow of His wing
There is cool and pleasant shelter,
And a fresh and crystal spring;
And my Savior rests beside me,
As we hold communion sweet;
If I tried, I could not utter
What He says when thus we meet.


Only this I know: I tell Him
All my doubts and griefs and fears;
Oh, how patiently He listens!
And my drooping soul He cheers;
Do you think He ne’er reproves me?
What a false friend He would be,
If He never, never told me
Of the sins which He must see.


Would you like to know that sweetness
Of the secret of the Lord?
Go and hide beneath His shadow;
This shall then be your reward;
And whene’er you leave the silence
Of that happy meeting-place,
By the Spirit bear the image
Of the Master in your face.


words by ELLEN GOREH, music by CHRISTOPHER MINER



Maranda

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Apple Jacks and Tiny Hinies

You do know that we have 3 children, right?

I feel like lately I have only blogged about Sassy and Jenkie and yet, there is this perfectly precious other little person in my life who I love dearly.

It's just that with all the antics from the others...

 The Apple Jacks Catastrophe of 2011

And the running episode of "What not to Wear" that occurs daily at our home...

This sweet little dumplin' of love often gets left out.
Oh how I love her.

Did you know that she is starting to crawl?

Please pray for me.

We had a nice weekend. My Dad was in town from Texas for a few days so we hung out with him. In fact, one day we loaded car seats into his van and went to lunch and ran some errands. The person with the smallest hiney got the privilege of squeezing in between the two car seats in the back row.

And the winner was...
Not me!
Did I mention that I have three kids? A three-kid-bearing-mommy-hiney is not a likely fit in that space.

My sister Marissa was the winner.
Bless her.

Marissa is not the only one to ever have to share a row with my kids. A few weeks ago, Jenkie and Sassy went to the Beach with Grammy and Stacey. This time, Missy was the big winner.

I made Jello Jigglers with Sassy this weekend. We had fun and she was in rare form... making some uber weird faces.

We started out okay though.
Awww... isn't she cute?

Now here is where it starts to get weird.


I mean... that doesn't even look like my child?
Does it?
She has been more and more silly lately.

Which honestly, I love.

I am pretty insecure and easily embarrassed and it just seems like she has an independent, free spirit that isn't too concerned about the opinions of others. I wish I was more like her in that respect.

My prayer is that she would maintain this perspective, not worrying about what others think of her and certainly not letting others define her.

Proverbs 29:25
The fear of man lays a snare,but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.


I hope she does care about God's opinion of her through.
You know why?
Because I think He loves her to pieces.

To close things out I will leave you with Sassy's fashion montage from this evening.

Here we find Sassy sporting one of "mommy's" shirts that Sassy is convinced looks just like Fiona's dress in Shrek.



My favorite part is the look that Chilli C is giving Sassy! And Poor Jenkie looks like he is worried there is going to be a throw down!


Nighty night my Bloggy Friends,
Maranda

Friday, August 5, 2011

'Fess up Friday

Hello Bloggy Peeps... Hope you've had a good week! Here is the weekly confessional!

Don't forget to check out Kira's blog for more hilarious 'fess ups. 



Do you people know about this?

I admit...
I have been a fan of the Batter Blaster for some time.

I initially mocked its existence thinking it to be yet another highly processed convenience food.

And, it probably is, but at least it is organic!
It really is organic... isn't that weird?!

Plus, it's not like I am a health nut by any stretch... you have heard me mention my Sonic addition have you not? You know that ain't nuthin' but some liquid sugar (with extra ice of course).

Anyway, I was at the grocery this week and found the chocolate variety... I can't wait to try it! I can't wait for the kids to try it!
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Outfit of the week:
This is a hard one to chose...
Oh wait, no it's not.


Things to note:
1. Wearing PJs.
2. More specifically, wearing her brother's PJs
3. Wearing Tickle Monster Gloves... on all four "paws"

Yes, we are very silly.
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I took Sassy to get her hair cut today.
She loved it.

Guess who did not love it.
Do not be fooled by my smile.

I am crying on the inside.

Also, for those of you who have begged me to NOT cut the boys fuzzy locks... rest assured.

No cutting took place.

One would have to be still in order for that sort of thing to occur.

My friend Mrs. Bone suggested that perhaps the Jenkie boy could be tamed if only his hair was cut. Maybe like Samson lost his strength when his hair was cut, Jenkie would lose his crazy if he received a trim.

It was a tempting idea, but alas, the crazy prevailed and he is no less hairy... and certainly no less crazy.

Oh Mr. Jenkins... once again, it is a good thing you are cute.


'Cause you sure are naughty.
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Recent conversation with Sassy -
Sassy: I'm a person who is supposed to give gifts and then hide behind walls.
(Please do not ask me what this means... I am just as lost as you are)
Me: Hmmmm, that's interesting. Why?
Sassy: Because Jesus made me that way.

If we could only all be so sure of our calling in life.

Happy Friday!
(Oh and by the way, are you so proud of me for actually posting on Friday?!)
Maranda

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Babysitters

Bless their hearts...

You know who I am talking about...

The kind souls that watch the wild ones for us. 

Because we are so fortunate to have family close by, my mom is typically the one who is blessed subjected to "babysitting" our kids.

Have I told you that my mom has a strict policy that she will only watch 2 at a time?

Never 3.

She is a woman who knows her boundaries.

She is also a woman with a hot pink spike of hair!


Anyway, last night we had sitters come and watch 2 of our 3 kids as well as a friend's daughter. When we arrived home we received the following report:

  • After eating dinner, Sassy was given a small slice of ice cream cake. When she finished her piece she informed the babysitters, "I usually don't get another piece, but mom and dad are not here, so I think it is okay."
          It's like she was honest... but not.
  • Mr. Jenkins wiggled so much during his evening diaper change that he obtained a wedgie that caused him much discomfort. He was agitated and annoyed until the babysitter was able to pick the wedgie/straighten the diaper for him at which point he was greatly relieved and nuzzled down in his crib to sleep.
  • The other little girl who was here with our kids is named, Matea. 
          Such a cute name.
          Sassy however cannot seem to say it.
          So, for the whole evening, she referred to Matea as Potato.

 Maranda