Saturday, July 30, 2011

"Fess up Friday

 Once again, I am coming late to the party... I can't seem to get my act together on Friday for the official 'Fess Up.

Maybe I should come up with a special daily posting of my own.

How about...
Procrastination Saturday!

Gee... that's super clever. I'm sure it will catch like wild fire.

So, Let's see what I've got for this week... oh and don't forget to check out Kira's blog to see what everyone else has been up to!

1. So, it was a brutally long car ride back from the beach this week.

On these long car trips, I often have to remind my children to mind their own business. Sassy and Jenkins are talented contortionists and can manage to kick, hit, pull slap, steal food, etc, while strapped into their respective car seats.

I don't mean to brag, but they are pretty gifted.

Anyway, at some point, from the back of the van I hear Sassy cry out, "Mommy!! *Mr. Jenkins* is all up in my business!!!"

It made me chuckle.

2. In other Sassy news, we went to a park while in St. Simmons, and in a weak moment, I allowed Sassy to wear her princess dress up shoes.

You know the whole clothing thing continues to be a struggle for us. I guess I was just excited that she was wearing real clothes... not pajamas... (and more importantly, not naked!), so when she asked if she could wear the dress up shoes, I gave in.

Good news for me, she ended up being pretty miserable in them, so I don't think she'll ask to wear them again.

3. I came home to some yummy tomatoes from the garden!
I seem to have a knack for growing some funny looking tomatoes.

Sassy and I have started to refer to this type as the "hiney tomato".

I'm sure you can't guess why.

They certainly look weird... but they taste delicious.

4. I think Sassy may be an artist. This morning at breakfast, she created the following master piece with her toaster strudel.

She told me it was Mickey Mouse.
I think I see it...
I don't really see it.

Actually, upon further inspection...I really DO see it!
She's a genius!
I see a college scholarship in her future!
Good thing... she's gonna need it! 

5. I'm not too sure Lola is happy that we are back. She has quickly resumed her role as random imaginary playmate. Here she is at the "dentist" office. According to Sassy... you have to have a bib at the dentist office and so Lola had to remove her collar and was promptly fitted with a baby bib.

6. I leave you with one simple question...

Why? Dear Lord, why?

Well... I feel like this wasn't so much of a 'Fess Up Friday post... it seemed to me like more of a...

I don't know....

Maybe a... "Procrastination Saturday List"???

Do you see how I did that?

You know I have just coined the next new thing in blogging don't you?!



Sunday, July 24, 2011


Did you know that there is a gas station on I-16 that is running a little racket off of weary travelers?

They are taking advantage of poor souls with car loads of kids who haven't stopped asking, "Are we there yet?" since the parents pulled out of the drive way.

They are putting the BP across the street out of business.

Want to know why?

Because they have this guy:
Oh yeah.
That's one ugly Llama.

Don't tell me you wouldn't pay $1 per person to feed this handsome face!?

Well, let me rephrase that...

Don't tell me you wouldn't pay $1 per person for the opportunity to get your kids out of the car to do something "interesting" for a few minutes to break up the 6 hour car ride to the beach?

That's what I thought.

They also had a few other assorted beasts to throw corn at and so we managed to kill a good 45 minutes at this gas station stop.

I think we got our $3 out of it.

There was an exciting moment when one of the goats in his zeal squeezed his fat self out of the fence and came after Sassy and her bag o' corn.
In this shot he is actually looking at me because I have snatched the corn from Sassy in an attempt to protect her. Mr. Jenkins appears to be trying to figure out how in the heck the goat got out.

As was I.

Fortunately, no one was nibbled to death by any escapee goats and we made it to St. Simmons in one piece.

I love the beach!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

'Fess up Friday

It's that time again.!

I have missed the past few 'Fess ups, and it certainly isn't for lack of confession-worthy material.

It's just been crazy... and then there was the whole writer's block thing.

Anywho... I am back and have some daily disasters to share.

Make sure you check out Kira's blog to see what she and others who link up with her have been up to this week as well!

1. So, you know that we had VBS this week.

If you know that much, then you know that I barely survived registration, thanks to a certain little boy who we all know and love...

Mr. Jenkins...

Anywho, after Monday's drama, the rest of the week went great with drop off and pick up. I just slapped Chilli in the baby carrier, plopped Jenkins in the umbrella stroller and took Sassy by the hand.
In and out.

On Thursday we did the same drop off routine and headed back to the car. I loaded up Chilli and Jenkie and we went back to the house to get some packing done for our upcoming beach trip. It wasn't until I drove back to the church later that afternoon that I realized that I may have forgotten a step in the morning's loading process.

Yeah... that's my stroller.

Apparently, I loaded up the kids and just left it sitting there all by itself for 3 and a half hours in the parking lot.

As embarrassing as that is in itself, it was also super embarrassing to have to drive up to the abandoned stroller and claim it.

I wasn't sure if I would rather have people realize that I was the doofus who left it there, or if I wanted them to think I was stealing it.

2. Sassy asked to hold Chilli this week and as usual I obliged her request.

She is a sweet mommy's little helper. 

Apparently Chilli was a little hungry though because while Sassy was holding her, Chilli latched onto her arm and gave her a hickey!!!

3. I am still struggling to get Sassy to wear appropriate clothing.

Recently it has been the battle of wanting to wear PJs all day long. She often wakes up, takes off her PJs and puts on a new set of PJs as though this is her outfit for the day.

I am trying to not make a huge deal about it. She is typically compliant about putting on "real clothes" when we go out, so I guess lounging around in jamies all day is okay. It just feels like we are a few extra steps behind when it comes time to actually go somewhere. You know, it is nice when I only have to tell her to put on her shoes, rather than, "please go upstairs, get some clothes and get dressed.... oh yeah, and put on your shoes." 

Anyway, her favorite PJs are not in fact her own.
They are her brother's.
And she loves them.
And she wears them all the time.

4. Sassy isn't the only child wearing her sibling's clothing. Jenkins has taken a liking to a pair of Keens that are Sassy's.

I mean, Keens are cool, so I don't really blame him, but unfortunately, this pair is pink.
... well, technically, pink and purple.

And covered in flowers.

I know he is man enough to rock some floral pattern, but with the hair... I'm afraid he is just too pretty.

Soooo pretty, but fortunately, ALLLLL boy!

5. In other fashion news... I was UBER desperate for some chap stick and used some diaper cream to soothe my dry lips. This might have been okay if the cream didn't have zinc oxide.

6. Okay... I typically share a confession on behalf of the hubs, but this week, I bring you a confession courtesy of my mother.

I honestly don't even know how exactly to share this effectively because it is so odd. For those of you who know my mother, you know she has beautiful, silver, hair that she wears super spiky.

My mom can rock some funky cute hair - she's that cool.

However, today, I think she let the funky get the best of her and she crossed the line into punky...

In her defense, it was supposed to be red, not hot pink.

Again... my mom's pretty cool... and I imagine she can pull it off...

But then again, we might need to get a silver sharpie and touch that up...

... like every morning.


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Genie Beanie

Did you know that we had a cat.

Yes, I said, had.

Unfortunately, when we moved into our new home in January, Eugene hopped the fence and hasn't been seen since. It really is a pity because he was a pretty cool cat. He put up with a lot of abuse love from the kids.

And he was certainly lower maintenance than the dog.

We miss him quite a bit. Especially Sassy, who is the real cat lover. I can't tell you how many times she has prayed that God would bring her kitty back. Honestly, I have had a few heart-to-heart conversations with God myself about this, and at the risk of being irreverent, I'm kinda upset with Him.

It's just that I know how big God is, I know what an easy thing it would be for him to bring our dadgum cat home. It is hard for me because I think bringing him home would have such an impact on Sassy's faith - I would so love for him to answer her prayers in this way... not just for her richer joy, but for His glory! He would get all the credit for doing so and that child wouldn't hesitate to tell everyone of the miracle God gave her in bringing Genie back.

But, God is sovereign and I am not. Plus you do always hear those crazy stories about cats coming home after being gone for long periods of time... Maybe God still has a plan to reunite us all!

And what cat wouldn't want to come back to this?
On second thought, perhaps God has answered Eugene's prayers in getting him out of our house!

Recently, Sassy has been considering what Genie might be doing now. We have imagined that a nice family in the neighborhood across the street might have him. We feel confident that they are keeping his food dish brimming with kitty kibble (not an easy task... he is a 20 lb cat) and that he is happy.

Yesterday Sassy asked me the following:

Sassy: When is God going to bring Genie back?
Me: I am not sure baby. I hope he does.
Sassy: I wish God would STEAL Genie from that family and give him back to us.

It's funny... but it's sad too!!!

Dear nice family in the neighborhood across the street,
If you could please bring our fat feline back, we'd really appreciate it... we'll be saving you a fortune in cat food.


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A new day... a new little boy

Just wanted to let my bloggy peeps know that I am in fact alive and survived the VBS drop off this morning. In fact, it went swimmingly!

I ditched the double BOB in the garage this morning and traded it out for an umbrella stroller. I remembered the baby carrier as well, so I was mercifully "hands free" which was a good thing since Sassy begged to push Mr. Jenkins in the stroller and I had to intervene on several occasions to swerve him out of the way of oncoming foot and mini van traffic.

I really think yesterday's fiasco had a lot to do with a lack of understanding on Mr. Jenkin's part. Bless his bones, he just didn't get what was going on. He thought he was going to stay and play, and then he freaked out because we left Sassy, etc... Today, he knew the drill, and we all fared much better because of it.

It's amazing what a little mental preparedness can do for the boy.

Despite his stellar behavior this morning, he isn't totally off the hook.

After dropping Sassy off at VBS, Jenkie, Chilli and I ran a few errands, including getting my filthy swagger wagon washed. I like to go to this place where you ride through the car wash and then pull into the space to vacuum it out yourself. Well... as we are in the wash tunnel we begin approaching that super high pressure blast of water that rinses the soap off, and water starts POURING into my van via the sun roof!

I can't figure out what is going on I'm getting soaked, and soapy and so is everything in the front of my van. I look up into a literal stream of water coming in through the sun roof edges - but the fabric slide cover is closed. I push the close button on the console and hear the glass window slide shut.

Although I cannot confirm it... I am pretty sure that Mr. Jenkins is responsible.

And let's be honest, it's a pretty safe bet.

After all, I do recall someone snooping around for tic tacs yesterday morning.

With all the junk in my trunk (ha ha...), wouldn't you know I didn't have a dadgum towel! Fortunately I found (wait for it)... a onesie.

Yeah... totally not sufficient for the sheer volume of water in the van. Alas, I did my best. The greatest tragedy may have been that my sonic coupon got soaked and I feared that they might not take it.

Of course they did though.  After all, they love me ... I am their favorite customer ... I am there every day and I am pretty sure they pity me.

So, the wrath of Monday's VBS fall out managed to stalk me into Tuesday, but I am not daunted. In fact, I am well hydrated (thank you Sonic), relaxed (thank you concurrently napping children) and grateful (thank you God) for today and the rest of the week that is to come. I know it is gonna be a good one.


Monday, July 18, 2011

Fallin' out at VBS

Sassy: Mama! There's a bee! I need a hammer!
Me: Honey, you don't want to bother the bee.
Sassy: I know! I'm not gonna bother it! I'm just gonna kill it!


Should I be concerned? She sounds so lethal. She's really not though... I promise... just look at this face!

I haven't been posting much recently as I have had a bit of writers block, and it appears that it hasn't really remedied itself considering this blog's opening, but I just haven't been "feelin'" it lately. Plus, I've been reading those dadgum Hunger Games books, and with keeping up with the kids, doing laundry, fixing meals and cleaning keeping my kids alive, I guess I haven't had too much time for my many other distractions.

Oh, have I showed you Sassy's latest fashion look? I think this is going to be all the rage this fall.

They're not shoes...
And they're not socks...
They' rags tied in a bow!!!
Don't tell me that's not hot.

The kids attended a birthday party this weekend. It was a great party and fun was had by all!

Abi won the award for messiest cake eater.
 The prize was mommy getting to stain treat her clothes!

She was fiercely committed to that cupcake. At some point she got icing on her arm. No problem mom, I don't need a napkin, I'll just lick it off. And while I'm at it, I'll make sure I scrape this blob off the table and woof it down too. Let me just gnaw the cake remnants from the wrapper with my bottom row of teeth. Mmmmmmm....

As you can clearly see, she's been a chocolate lover since she was wee.

Mr. Jenkins got the prize for craziest child. His hair was particularly fuzzy and he looked a little insane as he flew through the air on the superman swing.

It's a good thing he is cute because he was quite naughty today. Allow me to share of his misdeeds.

Sassy is enrolled for VBS at a local church, so we loaded up the swagger wagon this morning and headed out. Upon entering the church parking lot, I realized that I had left my baby carrier, which allows me to be "hands free", at home.


I'd have to take the stroller... the flippin' huge double BOB stroller.
The one that only fits through one of the doors at our own church.
I had never been to this church and I didn't know if I would be able to get the beastly stroller through any of its doors. I was already a little tight on time and decided that maybe if I had a "conversation" with Mr. Jenkins regarding the plan for taking Sassy in, that I might be able to manage everyone and escape unscathed.

Oh, how could I have been so wrong?

The first sign that this was going to be disastrous should have been when I got Chili out of her seat and unfastened the other two only to discover that my hand was wet...

...with baby poo.


So, I quickly changed the baby. Well, actually, it wasn't too quick since it took me a while to find some wipes. I hadn't even brought the diaper bag with me because we were just "dropping" Sassy off and coming straight back home. I found a pack in the car, but they had dried out, so I had to open a water bottle and re-wet them. I did this whilst trying to keep Mr. Jenkins from the front seat where he was searching for a box of tic tics and spilling drinks in the process. I know I probably should have strapped him back into his car seat, but it is like putting a genie back into a bottle, except you don't get 3 wishes... you just get wailing and gnashing of teeth...and spilled drinks...and scattered tic tacs.

This is probably when I should have packed up and called it a day. But alas, I soldiered on... like a MO-ron!

We made it inside and managed to fill out emergency contact forms and wind our way through the throngs of moms and children arriving at her classroom without any major drama.

Sassy went in quickly and seemed quite excited about her classroom.

Unfortunately, Mr. Jenkins was also quite excited about her classroom.

As I take his hand to direct him to the door, I can see that this is going to get ugly... the boy is not leaving without a fight.

How is a mommy to graciously deal with a situation such as this? I am pretty sure it was not what I did for the next 15 minutes as I tried to get my child out of the church and into the swagger wagon. As soon as I got him out of the classroom he began crying for his sister and started the limp noodle routine whereby he ends up lying on the ground crying and pitching a fit. I think what you are supposed to do when this happens is just get the child out and discipline them once you have left the scene. This is what I attempted, however, he was so hysterical, I could only make him walk about 10 feet at a time before he would "fall out" again.

Did I mention we parked at the wrong wing of the church?

The boy rolled on the ground in the hallway, in the foyer, in the covered walkway, on the sidewalk, in the grass... and my personal favorite... in the middle of the parking lot.

By the grace of God we made it back to the car... not to mention that it was only by the grace of God I didn't leave him in the VBS parking lot.

I hope tomorrow is more successful. If you don't hear from me in a few days, send out the search party... I'll probably be in the fetal position in an abandoned craft room at VBS. There will be a small fuzzy-headed boy flailing around in the parking lot screaming.

He can show you where to find me.


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I'm baaaaaack!

Hello Bloggy Peeps!

Please forgive my hiatus in posting. I am sure all 3 of you have been wondering where I have been.

Now that I'm back, I can reveal to you that I have been in Texas again. You know... Texas... home of the creepy babies!

Apparently Texas is also the home of the 16lb newborn!

My hubby said I shouldn't post about our trips until we return from them as to prevent any crazies from knowing we are gone.

I am glad someone thinks of these things...

So, there were more oddities observed on our Texas trip... Check out these little beauties:

And can someone please explain the following two items?

 Wild Beast Bait?!

Speaking of wild beasts... Mr. Jenkins and Sassy got to go to the beach with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law while we were in Texas. They had a blast!  At least the kids did... I am sure Debbie and Stacey need a vacation to recover.

Stacey shared with me that on the drive back from the beach that she and Debbie thought the kids had dozed off, when from the back seat they heard Abi cry out:  SONIC!!!!

That kid spotted the Sonic while driving down the expressway at 70 mph! Do I have her trained or what!? Stacey said they even made it for happy hour!

In other news... I finally have a few ripe tomatoes! Dear Lord gardening has been a lesson in spiritual growth for me! I have no patience for it and the delayed gratification is almost more than I can bear. But here are my first gorgeous babies.
 And I must say they were delicious!


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Honey Bucket

Oh my word it is late... I started (but did not finish) a post earlier tonight that actually may have contained some substance. However, that is not the post you will find below, as I can assure you there is no substance to be found here.

Additionally, it is late, and I may or may not have taken an Ambien to help me sleep, so this could get a little shaky as the effects set in!

I just wanted to share with you an exchange that the hubs and I had this evening. We were talking about an email he received from Honeywell. I don't know why he received it, but he works at a large Summer Day Camp and apparently they order things from this company from time to time. Anywho, I asked him what I thought was a perfectly logical question:

Why does camp need a porta potty?

He looked at me quite baffled and said, Honeywell makes pretty much everything... but I don't think they make porta potties.

I was perplexed. I thought I had the company name right until I remembered that it was in fact Honey Bucket that makes the potties.

Brent did not believe me - he could not fathom why a portable toilet company would refer to themselves as a "honey bucket". So he googled it. And lo, he found this:

I was redeemed.

I also was a little evil.

I might or might not have logged into his facebook account and "liked" the Honey Bucket company for him.

I hope he gets some good comments!

I probably should have saved this for 'Fess Up Friday huh?


Friday, July 1, 2011

'Fess up Friday


Joining the confessional with Kira again!

This week seemed to pass quickly... so quickly in fact that I am not sure that I got myself into too much trouble. She says while stuffing another handful of dark chocolate m&ms in her mouth.

Well... let's see what we've got...

1. I've been keeping this one to myself for a while, but I feel it's time I let you know...

I  watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.
There!! I said it!

Well, more accurately, I TiVo them...which might even make the situation more pathetic. Some days when the house is quiet during rest/nap time and I finally sit down to eat my lunch at 2:00 (because Lord knows I haven't been able to eat my own dadgum lunch while feeding the kids theirs)... I turn it on and yell out the answers (more commonly for Wheel of Fortune than Jeopardy... seriously, how do people know some of that stuff!?!). Of course I only partake in such frivolous behavior when the laundry is done and the house is clean.
 as if the laundry is ever done or the house ever clean.

2. Sassy got a milk frother caught in her hair on my watch this week. I thought I was going to have to cut it out of her hair it was so tightly wrapped. Miraculously, we managed to release it.

3. In other Sassy news, she informed me of her future career plans.
Sassy: Mommy, when I grow up I want to be a buyer who buys every kind of toy.
Me: Wow. That's awesome.
Sassy: Yeah. And I want to live at Target.

Well, I mean, who can really blame her... that would be a sweet gig if you could get someone to pay you to do that. And as for living at Target... some days it already feels as though we do live there.

So, thanks to me... she's already livin' the dream!

4. My beloved minivan swagger wagon is disgustingly dirty.
 I think it might have something to do with this little man.

Well... him and the fact that I actually allowed him to eat those strawberries in the car. I wish I had a picture of him this afternoon when he was all squeaky clean in fresh, dry clothes following our afternoon swim, and then only moments later I found him drenched and crying in a pool of strawberry milkshake. Of course he took the lid off and dumped the contents on himself while sitting in his car seat. Once again... I cannot place all the blame on him... but I do. After all, I was the one who had a milkshake in my car (it was the free deal from my sonic today... and you know I don't pass up a freebie... especially at Sonic!) but he did sneak that treat out of the cup holder when I was strapping Chili into her seat and it was all over before I even knew what was happening.

5. Keeping in line with last week's confession on behalf of my husband, I once again submit an item courtesy of the hubs.
I drove his car this week and found this:
Okay... so you probably can't tell what that is, so I'll just tell you... IT'S BEEF JERKY!


I can't believe someone would drive around with food in their car like that.

Happy Friday... :)