Sweet Mom

Okay... so I probably should have mentioned this previously... but in my defense, it is a hard thing to discuss because it makes me sad.

My precious mother... the punky lady who can rock a hot pink spike in her hair, the Emme of my babies, the sweet momma who loved me though all kinds of teenage angst and quarter-life-crisis, my precious friend and confidant, was diagnosed with breast cancer in October of last year.

There were many times I wanted to write about it, but honestly, I may have been in denial. That is sorta my M.O. as I tend to put blinders on when it comes to hard situations in my life.

Anyway, my sweet momma endured 6 intense rounds of chemo and just this week had her double mastectomy and reconstruction.

Although I am not at all jealous of the war against breast cancer she has fought... I think I am going to be seriously jealous of her six pack and perky boobies!! She had a procedure where they took the fat from her belly and reconstructed her ladies. She only managed to give herself a A-B size enhancement which is sad because I could have donated some lard to get her to a good double D (and then some!) :)

Oh well...

Anyway, I am so proud of my mom. I love her spirit and the attitude that she has had through this whole process. She has praised God at every turn, remained positive even when ill and weak from chemo, and been incredibly brave despite a scary diagnosis and treatment plan.

I love you Mom, and I hope that I may face future challenges with the same strength and perspective you have exhibited. You inspire me. I love you.

Maranda

One thing

You may not know, remember or care...But I have another job outside of being a wife and rearing my precious younglings.

And precious they are...

This job is what typically causes a period of silence during the months of January to April on this blog-o-mine. This year, not only did have have my April conference to plan, but I also birthed a child, who although precious has made the past 2 months a little extra busy and sleep deprived.

"Banjo-man"

All this to say... this is why I have been a lame-o blogger of late. I hope to do better come May.

However, I wonder if I am being realistic in my expectations for myself in the coming future.

I have done this before... had the thought that if I could just change one thing in my life: lose 15 pounds, get one task off my plate, have a little more cash in the bank account, get married, have a baby,  control my appetite, have a bigger house, have a different car, get a cute hair cut, ...

The one thing changes depending upon my circumstances in a season, but I find that I am almost always looking to change something in my life that I believe will alleviate my current stress level, simplify my life, or just make me feel better.

Right now, I keep thinking that once the conference is over that I will be a more attentive wife and mother... a better friend...a better sister...a better daughter. I keep thinking about how I am going to enjoy my roles so much more once I have less stress.

And there may be some truth to that... but this side of Heaven, there's always going to be stress. Isn't stress, pain, grief, hardship just a manifestation of our longing for Heaven? A tangible ache for the loss of paradise?

I don't mean to sound pessimistic or complain that I'll never be content because I can''t manage to find balance in this life. Rather, I just want to confess that I often put my hope in the wrong things...

And after all, there is only one thing that matters.

Luke 10:41-42
But the LORD answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her."


Maranda

P.S. If you want to pray for me and the conference next week... I'd covet your prayers. The event is next Wednesday - Friday in Chicago.

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