Monday, August 15, 2011

Costco, my personal black hole

I went to Costco today.

Did you know that it is like a totally different store when you don't have kids with you?

People! There are these isles in Costco that have toys and games and books and movies and music and play sets. Were you aware of this?

I have never been down these isles before.

Well, that's not true. I am sure I went down those isles before I had children... but it's been years.

Years, I tell you.

Sometimes shopping with my kids feels like the equivalent to having to go shopping with three young goats. And you know shopping with goats at Costco poses a very unique challenge.

Can I get an amen?

Anywho, I just wanted to let you know that should you ever get the opportunity to go to Costco without your children, you really should do it. Here are a few of the perks:

1. You get to eat all the free samples in stead of giving them to your kids.
2. You can hold a thought in your brain.
3. You can roam the "forbidden" isles and complete birthday gift shopping in a jiffy!
4. You have room in your cart for the products because there are not three goats children in, on or dragging behind your cart.
5. You are not worrying about when the ticking time bomb (ie. your nap-needy child) is going to blow. I always feel extremely anxious when back in the paper product section of the store because it is a good 1.5 miles from the checkout registers.
Mr. Jenkins is prone to freaking out in the toilet paper section.
I know the long walk of shame back to the front of the store.
I tell you, it is no fun.
6. You don't miss out on little gems like this:

Yes, that's right people. It's an electronic toilet seat.


It comes with a remote.

I am so baffled.

I really can't figure out what needs to be electronic about a toilet seat?

Is there an automated function that I have been lacking in my life this far?

Oh. My. Word.

I just looked it up on line.


Well, for those of you who needed a little "pulsating wash" and blow dry for your hiney, you can purchase the IntelliSeat at Costco for the discounted price of $199.

But you might have to buy a two pack.


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