Thursday, October 27, 2011

Pizza Pizza

I went to Costco with the kids again today.

Why do I do this to myself?

Actually, the shopping experience wasn't horrible. It was the post check out that almost did us in.

I had bribed promised the kids a slice of pizza at the conclusion of our shopping trip so I rolled my big ol' cart through the hordes of people and placed my order. I handed my Amex to the man and he looked at me and said, "cash only."

Oh yeah.

He informed me that I would have to go back to the cashiers and have them ring up a slice of pizza and then return with the receipt.


So, I wheel my beast of a cart back through the masses to the incredibly busy check out lines. As I look desperately for a cashier who can just ring up this one blasted thing for me, I notice that Sassy has laid a triple pack of ground beef over her like a blanket, and Mr. Jenkins is attempting to wrestle it from her so he can have a turn "tucking himself in."

I am confident that there is going to be a ground meat disaster momentarily.

I finally catch the eye of an employee at the "merchandise pick up station" and plead for him to ring up my pizza slice. I hand him my Costco and Amex cards and he rings it up. I thank him, grab the receipt and make my way back into the food area, which is now nothing short of a mob of people and overflowing carts. I wait in line with the kids now drumming on the Kettle Chips bag like it is a drum and squealing as they "rock out" to their beat.

My little wild Indians.

I get up and hand the guy my receipt and he asks, "Did you call ahead for this? It is going to take about 10 minutes."

Say What?! For a dadgum slice of pizza?

"Ma'am, you paid for a whole pizza. If you just want the slice I can give it to you now, but you'll have to go back to the cashier and have them credit you for the difference."



So, once again, I head back through the throngs of people with a slice of pizza in one hand, maneuvering the beastly cart with the other hand whilst Sassy and Jenkins perform some sort of tribal dance on my ground beef and Chilli beats her head against my chest in the Ergo.

Someone get me out of here!

The Costco employee who rang me up for the whole pizza must have thought I was cute seen the sweat running down my face and the crazy look in my eyes because after taking my cards again and reversing the transaction, he ended up just comping my pizza slice.

Bless his heart.

I'm not saying it was worth it, but at least I got a free slice of pizza out of the ordeal.

Enough about that.
Did I tell you that my mother has been out of town for the past two weeks. Just having mom gone for  two short weeks has once again reminded me how fortunate I am to have family near by. I am truly in awe of all you people who raise your kids without family near by or available to lend a hand.

Anyway, not only did mom desert me go out of town, but she left her ancient, incontinent dog with me. Cricket is an adorable little beast, but she is deaf and blind and totally unreliable in the potty department.

The worst thing is that she stirs up something in my dog that causes Lola to compete with her in some kind of sick battle of incontinence. My dog does not have accidents in the house unless Cricket is here...but for the past three mornings I have been greeted with their leavings when I come down stairs in the morning.

I already have enough poop to deal with in my life. These dogs are putting me over the edge.



  1. um? the best part? that you didn't even notice that you paid $10 for a slice of pizza.